


Farewell, Desolation

by yuutsuhime



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning, High School, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Past Character Death, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2021-01-21 00:20:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21290585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuutsuhime/pseuds/yuutsuhime
Summary: A high school girl processes her close friend's death.
Kudos: 1





	Farewell, Desolation

Em's dad was in the convenience store when I walked in. He was back from his big hike in the Cascades and looking much healthier, despite his greying hair and untrimmed beard. The last time I'd seen him, he was on the bridge staring absently into the mist, turning the ribbon I tied to the guardrail over in his shaking hands. I like to think he keeps it in his wallet.

"Jordan!" he called from across the aisles. The corners of his tired eyes wrinkled happily. "Haven't seen you in ages. How've you been?"

"Been fine," I lied.

"Great to hear," he said, his winter coat rubbing against the display shelves as he shuffled over to me. I'd just aced a math test for the first time in ages and I figured I'd get some sushi like Em and I used to.

"When'd you get back?" I asked.

"Oh, about a week or so. Farewell, Desolation Peak, eh? That's what Kerouac said - although you might be too young to know him."

"The hippie Jack Kerouac?"

"_Farewell Desolation, thou hast seen me well_," he said, gesturing theatrically. "_Now, all I want is an ice cream cone..._ Well, all they've got here are sandwiches. Bah." He popped one into his shopping basket.

I laughed to humor him. The man had spent years learning to be a cool dad - he even tried to ice skate so that he'd be worse than both of us. Em and I still had the most fun taunting each other when we wiped out. Somehow that made the fall less painful.

"Did you just get back?" I asked.

"Just last week. Thought I'd come check in with your folks, but I figured we should all just take it easy."

"Well, I mean..."

His face softened.

"Take care of yourself, Jordan," he said, and walked toward the checkout.

* * *

It was the thick of winter outside, and I was wearing my black coat with the fang-shaped buttons and the scarf Mom made me bring. I looked tacky as hell, but at least I was warm. The road had recently been plowed, leaving all the snow piled on the sidewalk like mountains. There was no way home that didn't involve snow spilling into my boots.

This was the way Em and would walk home: down the riverside and across the old railroad bridge. Must have taken it thousands of times, all seasons. Out of habit, I still expect her voice to pipe up from behind - the cute, peppy voice that meant she was smiling like an idiot.

"Jordan," she used to say. "We're gonna take over the world one day."

"When?" I laughed.

"Eventually. Today would be too soon - everyone expects it anyway. Plus I haven't finished World Gov yet so I don't know which flavor of totalitarianism I want."

"Em, no."

"Yes, and we're totally running for student council on this. We'll be Big Sisters and shit. It's the best idea ever."

Some other days she went quiet, and I could tell she had it rough. When she did speak her voice was low and terse. I couldn't tell what she was thinking. Figured her threapist or her dad would help.

"I don't know what I'm gonna to do," she said to me that last evening. We were standing on the street corner where we always split up.

She was an optimist, so I didn't worry about her hurting herself. I must have said something like "_You're strong, Em. You've always pulled through_".

She forced a smile out. "Thanks, J."

I didn't think much of it. 

* * *

The bridge was uneven and coated with snow. It was no fun to walk across, but at least the sidewalk got shovelled sometimes.

I slipped on the ice right in the middle, but I caught myself on the railing. I'm supposed to be the best skater on the team now.

"Laugh it up, Em," I said under my breath. 

For the first time in ages, I crossed without looking down.


End file.
